Snow day, January 30

Today's snowstorm finds me once again escaping the below-frigid temperatures of my house (that no matter how high I turn the heat up, how long I run the space heater, nor how dangerously high I burn the logs in the fireplace still manages to chill my bones and leave my sons hands little icicles...do you think Joe for Oil has a brother...like, John for Propane??). Refuge has been sought at my in-laws, who have quite the comfortable pull-out (since I topped it with my old queen-sized mattress topper, from my single, livin' with my wives days). It's much warmer here, though I will miss snuggling with my kitties who, along with the dog, help keep Chris and I warm at night (Ethan's room blessedly stays warm...it's the only room that does, though). I really had planned to leave early this morning to head over with the laundry and get that done while finishing up some work from this week and then heading back to get all snowed-in at my own house but...yeah. Didn't happen.

What should have been a 15, 20 minute ride turned into an hour + trip down a tretcherous, barely plowed road with a gaggle of idiot drivers - it's like they really thought that because it was "light, fluffy snow" that they could just roll on down the highway passing people and swerving in and out of lanes. NOT OKAY. I'm not a timid driver, but it was completely irresponsible the way these people were driving, ESPECIALLY WHEN 90% OF MY HEART WAS IN MY CAR. Nervewracking trip. Not to mention that E had a complete freak out in the car, one of those crying-so-hard-they-can't-stop-on-the-verge-of-vomiting things that completely debilitates me as a parent because it's so thoroughly heartbreaking and all he's doing is crying and holding out his arms "MAAAAAHHHHHMMMAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" and I can't stop the car and make it all better because jackasses on either side of me have decided that route 50 should be telecast as the ice capades instead. I still have no idea why he was so upset, except that I made him sit in his car seat instead of drive the car. I'm such a mean Mommy.

Once there, things just got off track. It was decided that since Chris and I both had to be in town on Sunday ANYWAYS, we might as well stay the night. It's safer and makes more sense...but then I lost 3 hours of work time when Chris had to go back home to get his medicine and...just...see, man, I make PLANS. I live off of PLANS. I am queen of lists and prior proper planning prevents piss poor performance...so when I have an idea in my head of how a day should go and it doesn't go that way, I am thoroughly unsatisfied. So Where I should have gone and gotten laundry and work done, then returned home to play with my kid in the snow and bake something delicious, I instead found a new form of hatred on the highway, discovered that my son refuses to wear gloves and then FREAKS THE F OUT when he gets snow on his hands, and while yes, I did get to technically do 3 or 4 things on my list they didn't happen the way I wanted them to and they therefore never happened...ah, look, I get the "give myself a break," "get over yourself," and "that's life!" aspects of today, but i'm tired now, and it's getting late...and...yeah. More on this later.

So....

Yeah. This blog has been an epic fail. Wish I could say that I had simply forgotten to post all the wonderful, colorful, insightful musings of the past month, but I totally didn't. Life happened, as it is apt to do. So here, instead, I present you with the seven things that have kept me from updating this blog:

1. My bay-buh. That little guy has been sick recently, first with strep (no thanks to moi) and an ear infection, now with hand, foot, & mouth disease. We've had a love-hate stay at home the last week, because while he's sick and contagious he's still full of himself (who, my child? NO WAY!) and because he's so little he can't articulate his confusion at feeling bad one minute and wanting to play the next (but wanting to be held in either case, please, Mommy, NOW) it's just...been...yeah. I've had a few not-so-glorious Mom-ents where I'm standing in the middle of the kitchen gutterally releasing a primal "AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!" with a used spatula in one hand, scissors in the other, both of which had just been pryed out of the tiny hands of the 3-foot red-faced blonde who had bowed down in front of me in what could be characterized in print as "childs pose," a relaxing yoga position, were it not for the fact that snot, wails, and salty tears littered his tired, spotty face, cementing my temporary position as "worst mom in the universe" for preventing him from licking day-old crusted egg and/or impaling himself.

And then I changed his diaper (OH! THE HORROR!) with much the same response.

And then I walked into another room (GOD, I'M NEGLIGENT!) with much the same response.

So you see, we (and I'm talking the collective "we," not the royal "we") are done with each other for the moment, so much so that while singing my son his favorite bedtime song, he shushed me. MY 20 MONTH OLD SHUSHED ME. For real. OUCH.

At least he followed the shush with a pat on the back before he fell asleep.

Mama's got cabin fever. So  much so that she's internet shopping to fill the boredom void. HELP. MAKE IT STOP.

Now for the love part: Thanks to the baby monitor I've gotten to listen to Ethan talk to himself early in the morning, which usually doesn't happen because we're so go-go-go in the morning that the minute I hear him rustle I'm in his room getting him dressed for the day (or I've already left for work). He's so funny! His inane chatter is hysterical... and it can go on for 30...45 minutes. People, I've been able to stay in bed until 9 am. This is huge. The big thing is when he's ready to get up for the day, he gently, gently says..."Mama....Maaaaamaaaaaa....Daddy?....Maaaaaamaaaaa....."

Or reading him his choo-choo books while playing with his choo-choo tracks while listening to choo-choo on the TV.

Or secretly thinking "that's my boy!" when his little eyes light up to the sound of my coffee maker brewing and his little voice say, "toffeee?"

Lotsa little moments like that. That is, when he's not drawing on the carpet with marker, pulling my porcelin bells out of the formerly baby-proof cabinet, opening files I never knew existed on my laptop, standing on the dining room table, or suplex-style "hugging" one of the animals just a little too hard.

2. Work, work, work. I love work. I love what I do. I love that I'm good at what I do. I think it's remarkable to be able to love what you do...especially when you have two jobs, to love both jobs. But I do, and both jobs have kept me quite busy over the past several weeks (COUGH! Months). I feel very lucky. I'm also lucky to work with my best friend, who truly helps me be a better worker. I know it when it's happening, but I wish I could see an outside view of the two of us deep in the "gettin' shit done" phase of a project because I bet it's just palpable, positive kinetic energy all around.

Stop feeling smug and touched at the same time, Karen. It's akward.

3. I've been cleaning, June Cleaver-style, apron and all.

4. My husband. He needs attention sometimes.

5. Travelling. For work! So this goes along with #2, but I find that the more I go to VA Beach (pronounced "vah beach" by the locals) the more I enjoy it (and the less I hear the jets overhead).

6. I've been doing my taxes, because I like tax time. I'm just about done, waiting for my 1099 for my blood draw work so I can wrap that up and file.

7. I've been eating Frostees on a Thursday night because my sometimes-neglected husband forgot to bring them home on Frostee night, which for the record, is on Wednesdays.

January 4

1. I got busted admiring my reflection in our building's glass-enclosed lobby. I can't help it, I'm vain. And what I'm wearing today in particular is really flattering. Really! It's nothing special, just a nice pair of jeans, a fitted white t-shirt, and a short-sleeved button-down sweater and boots. It just...fits. Properly. I figure if I over-inflate my ego now then I'll even-out the next time I'm feeling low about myself. Or I'll just keep preening in the rear-view mirror because it only shows from the neck up...oh dammit. I'm so vain, I probably thought this post was about me...

2. I finished my all the stuff on my work to-do list. And then I did some more, just to be uber-productive.

3. With little traffic, I made it home before 6pm. Woo hoo!! Beautiful thing.

4. I made dinner for the sort-of-second day in a row. I say sort-of because it's the second day in a row that I was home to make dinner...we ate at Chris' parents on Sunday and all...and I made chicken BBQ, mashed taters, and peas. Chris was supposed to make dinner, and the only reason he didn't was because he ran to the store to get a firelog, with which I...

5. ...set a blazing fire in the fireplace. Like, A BLAZING FIRE IN THE FIREPLACE. You know how those little firelogs say not to burn anything else while you're burning the log...because...you know...it's special? Or something? I usually ignore it and burn on my merry way with no problems...only this time we had really...potent...wood? Maybe it was just really dry and prime for the burning...look, I dunno, maybe little fire martians invaded my hearth and had a party, but I had that damned fire rolling far past my ability to control it and my attempts to squelch it some only made it worse, so I pretty much shut the fireplace doors and walked away from it, praying that in ignorance-being-bliss style it would take care of itself. Which it did. Chris says the fire was fine all along, and that I was overreacting (What? ME? Never.) but I seriously disagree.

6. I realized that we do not have a fire extinguisher. Shame, shame, it knows my name all too well...I live across the street from a FIREHOUSE for God's sake...I'll fix it. Note to self.

7. I watch the tail end of the movie "He's Just Not Into You." It was cute. I don't watch movies anymore, so it was refreshing.

January 3

1. I took Yoshi to the SPCA's low-cost vaccination clinic. It was supremely, blisteringly windy and cold. I wanted to take all the cats, too, but I only had 1 carrier and there's no way in hell I'm putting 2 cats in 1 carrier, let alone 3. But they have this every month, so I'll plan better for February. $20 to update shots was totally worth freezing for 1/2 hour. I have to give props to the SPCA, it was a really efficient clinic!

2. I did 5 loads of laundry, folded them, and put them away. And for those of you keeping track, yes, it is in fact my Husband's job to put it away.

3. I read a magazine.This is something I did quite often pre-baby. I enjoy few things more than wrapping up in a cozy blanket with some tea and a couple of magazines. It wasn't to blissed out self-snuggle fest of yore, but I managed to get through it and keep the baby from climbing up the stairs at the same time.

4. We had Eggs Benedict for dinner. This is a tradition in Chris' family, usually it's breakfast on New Year's Day. Because of their New Year's party, we needed to reschedule it. It was lovely. Ethan likes it, too, which just cracks me up because there is nothing that boy won't eat.

5. I gave my brother the blessing to throw out my old VHS tapes. I've really been working hard on letting material things go, and since I'd thrown out about 300 that I had in my tiny, tiny house I figured the other 400+ that were still at my Dad's were ok to toss, too.

6. I made my lunch for work and set out clothes for the next day. This is a habit I'd really like to get into, it makes the morning so much less hectic.

7. I spent a little QT with my hubby. Even though he didn't put away all the laundry.

January 2

1. Today my family and I went to Arlington National Cemetery to visit my Dad and Mom. We were supposed to go December 19th, my Dad's birthday, but we got two feet of snow instead, so we postponed the trip until today. Dad always hated getting gifts for his birthday, so it was almost like Dad was trying to stop us from going to see him! Then today it was blisteringly cold, the kind of cold that has your skin stinging with tiny pinpricks of pain when you finally do find heat...this again we blame on Dad, because (a) he liked it really cold anyways and (b) he didn't want us there wallowing at his gravesite, anyways. Nobody broke down, nobody lost it...but we all had a pretty good laugh about the circumstances and left with a "all right old man, we get the point!"

2. I discovered that the old dollar store at Hilltop Plaza had moved to the building previously occupied by Joann Fabrics and had become a mega-super dollar store! I am very excited about this...because this new! and improved! dollar store has registers. That move. And many, many aisles. Of stuff. That's a dollar.

3. I watched one of my patients reinforce an unnecessary fear in one of her children, and it made me reflect on how I react to things in regards to Ethan based on my own unnecessary fears. I was doing draws on a couple with two young kids. The 6-year-old was really interested in what I was doing and wanted to see me take a sample, so I asked her if she wanted to come watch and showed her how we look for veins and how they feel - making it normal, safe, a process rather than an event - and her mother completely shut me down. My nephew has seen my sister-in-law take her insulin shots every day of his life - he's even helped her do it. He has no issues when he goes in for shots. Because it's normal. This kid was truly interested in what I was doing and even relayed to me how she had had her blood drawn once and that she had been scared because she didn't know what was going on. It's a shame that she didn't get to see the other side of things when she really wanted (needed) to. But it made me think that, as a mother, there are going to be times where Ethan is doing something that I am irrationally afraid of, and that it is my job to keep that crap to myself and let him discover things without my bias.

4. I got my nails done by a guy I really don't care for. There is one lady at the salon who I adore. She's careful, takes her time, and really cares about how the end product comes out. The guy I had isn't horrible, but he's not great either and his hands are eerily soft...far too soft not to be questionable. He makes me uncomfortable. And he leers a bit. I'm really gonna make a concieted effort to call ahead and reserve a spot with my favorite lady instead of taking the gamble that she's available.

5. Chris and I finished working on the laundry. It's separated, folded, and put away...at least, all that wasn't stuck in a basket to be washed. You can walk in the room now without being knee-deep in clothes, though.

6. I discovered a new product by McCormick - it's a recipe card that has the exact amount and types of spices you need for the dish it's describing in a little attached package, so all you have to do is mix, dump, and viola! Dinner. It was fantastic.I'm hooked. It even tells you how much of what was used so that, should you have those ingredients in the future, you can replicate it without having to buy the card again. Or, alternatively, you could just keep buying the cards because it's cheaper than buying a whole jar of spice. Whatever. Functional and delicious. Win!

7. I read the signature book from my Mom's funeral. I hadn't seen it, and my brother was leery of my looking at it because he'd gotten so upset over it. He and I have very different memories and feeling about that event. I got to see signatures that I hadn't seen in years, letters to my father from random places...like my daycare, Mike's teacher...just an outpouring of love from so many people. I saw my fathers old handwriting, my Auntie's signature, MY five-year-old signature on a flower card, my Grandfathers very regal name on the guest book. For me, it was like a hug from the other world. Warm. Loving. I thanked Mike for letting me read it.

January 1

1. Today I managed to get another two rooms in our house impossibly clean. This is a continuation of work I started yesterday, where I managed to get three rooms done before heading off to K-Pell's for our Wives' & Co. New Years Eve Extravaganza. Not the "whole house cleaning" I was hoping to have completed before the start of 2010, but the level of cleanliness of the three rooms I did get done makes up for it.

2. Got in touch with the roofers and finally got the roof fixed. It's really funny how insecure you feel when the roof over your head is failing. It's like, when everything is going to hell in a handbag and things just aren't well in general, most people can say "Well at least I have a roof over my head." But, when that roof is one of the things going to hell in a handbasket (like, I dunno, allowing rain to hit you in the face while you sleep) it's unsettling. Especially because the really obviously bad part was right over our bed. I seriously would go to bed hoping that the ceiling wouldn't fall on Chris, Ethan, or I in our sleep and crush us to death.

3. I realized today that I enjoy time away from my son. Chris took Ethan to Grandad's so that I could get some more work done in peace (the second day in a row, mind you) and I was able to be productive and play music at very loud levels without having to hawkeye anyone for a few hours and it was just...heavenly. Where it really hit me was at the grocery store, where I made our usual hour-to-hour & a half trip in about 30 minutes. I was able to relax mentally, even though I was physically running around I was quite refreshed when Chris and Ethan came home, making for a much more enjoyable evening.

4. Lavender makes me happy, and I bought two new lavender candles and a new set of lavender plug-in inserts. Now my house smells like a lovely field, and not stale air and cat pee. Win!

5. I opted not to overload myself tonight by putting off cleaning the closet until tomorrow. E's gonna be out of town with his Grandparents, and once I'm done at Arlington visiting Dad & Mom I'll have the rest of the day to give the laundry my undivided attention. It's not going anywhere, trust me.

6. I TiVo'd the last three episodes of season 1 of True Blood this week, and tonight I'm going to watch them. I've already read all the books Charlaine Harris has written about Sookie Stackhouse, and I've seen all of season 2 and now I can finally catch those last few episodes I've been missing.

7. Lastly, today I wrote my first 365 of 7 blog entry. Hey, I gotta take credit where I can get it, but seriously this took longer and necessitated more thought than I first expected. It's like one big Facebook status update. I had to think about my day and really pick out what I want to remember from it. While eating a Frostee. Maybe that's what made it difficult....