When I mess something up, at least everyone escapes with all their limbs intact.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Fog

I have been in a fog recently. I can't quite explain it. My brain is stuffy. There are clouds behind my eyes. I move in slow motion.

I am usually lightning fast, sharp as a tac, and quick to focus.

I just don't care.

Which, again, is unlike me. I care too much about EVERYTHING. I overthink EVERYTHING. I sense DRAMA with each passing moment.

It's just that, now, I don't.

Here's where perception comes in, because I have two thoughts on the matter -

Thought the first: OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, I'M DYING! SOMETHING IS TERRIBLY WRONG!

Thought the second: Is this what it feels like to let the small stuff go?

I then have sub-thoughts.

Sub-thought the first for thought the first: CRAP! What will this do to Ethan's fragile psyche?

Sub-thought the first for thought the second: If ambivelence is the opposite of worry, I'm not sure I consider that a step in the right direction.

Sub-thought the second for thought the second: When you worry about the things you can change and stop worrying about the things you can't, doesn't that leave you at a disadvantage once the things that you can't change become things you really could have changed if you'd thought about it?

Then, I have a final thought on the subject:

Final thought: Eh.

1 comment:

  1. Eh, exactly. Take it from a mother whose children are grown: Eh.

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